Today I just realized the significance of Jesus’ death on the cross. It didn’t occur to me until tonight. It’s been a year since I’ve been a Christian, and yet, I did not fully understand the historical moment when Jesus gave His life as a ransom for me, until now. Jesus Christ, the son of God, died a sinner’s death on the cross because of all of the sins that I commited. Everytime I lied, everytime I cheated, everytime I disobeyed my parents, the pain that Jesus endured increased. My sin were the nails in His wrists, the thorn crown on His head, and the lashes all over His body. He died for me. He felt the pain of multiple lashes because He loved me. He died so that I could live in Heaven for eternity. The thought of a man so blameless an innocent dying on the cross for all of my sins brings me to tears. He didn’t deserve any of the sufferings He went through and I definitely didn’t deserve His forgiveness and grace. I am sinner, saved by Jesus Christ. God sent down His only son because He loves me, and for that, I am forever living my life for Him.
A lot of times, I feel like people are using me because I can be too nice. It bothers me, but then I think, “let them use me”. I want to be used, I want to serve people.
People think that just because I am a Christian, I am a good person. They think that because I have God as the center of my life, that I should be going to Heaven. A lot of people believe that if you don’t drink, murder, or steal then you are a considerably good person. Unfortunately, I know for a fact that that is not the case. I am a dirty, filthy sinner in need of a Savior. It doesn’t matter how many good deeds I have done or how many times I’ve proven myself to be a ‘good citizen’ because in the end, everyone falls short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). I am a sinner just like everyone else in this world. I lie, I steal, I cheat, I disobey my parents, I sin daily, constantly, never ending. Somedays, I sin without knowing, other days I sin knowingly without feeling convicted. I’m a no good, dirty, stinking sinner. I don’t deserve to go to Heaven. I don’t deserve to sit at the feet of God, I don’t even deserve to look Him in the face. Fortunately, Jesus Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice by shedding His blood to wash away my sins. Through God’s grace, and no other way, I know that I am going to Heaven. Whether I sin seven times, or seventy-seven times, I know that God will forgive me instantly and fully. It’s amazing to me that even though I mess up so much, even though I am no where near God’s standards, He has paid the price to set me free from my sins. I am a dirty, filthy sinner in need of a Savior, in need of Jesus Christ.
A real friend spends two hours on the phone with you so you don’t fall asleep while doing your homework (even when he has to wake up early for school the next day).
When God blesses me with amazing things in my life, I tend to mess things up. Urg, I really pray that I can take this opportunity that You have given me and just use it to glorify You anyway that I can. I know that I don’t deserve what You have bestowed upon me, and for that, I am genuinely thankful. I’m going to take care of this, and treasure it, because this was a gift given to me from my Father. God, how can you bless me with so many things after everything I’ve done? It’s incredible to see Your love and constant forgiveness shown to me daily.
God, are You being serious right now? This is not happening again, I’m so scared. God, I know I gave You all of my life and I trust You.. I’m just really confused right now. But I’m done with trying to live the way I want to. I know I’m going to follow You, and I’m going to do whatever You ask me to do. You have plans for me that are good, and even though I’m scared and I may not know what they are, You know. I’m putting my full trust in You, whatever You want for my life, just let it happen. God, I just pray that I can be good enough for the amazing plans that You have for my life.
Ha, um, anytime? :)
Lately, I know that a lot of people have been stressing out with school. It’s funny, because even though I am taking the same classes with them, and getting the same grades as them, I never seem to freak out as badly as them. Maybe it’s just because I have a more relaxed personality or maybe it’s because I know that no matter what I do, God has my back through everything. I’m not saying that I don’t work hard in school because believe me I do, but I’m not going to stress and kill myself mentally over little things. I’ve come to the conclusion that even when nights seem long and days seem endless, even when I have so much work and not enough strength to carry on, God somehow takes action in my life. I’m not sure what He does or how He does it, but He does and I am so blessed for that. I’m not stressing out, instead, I’ll take it day by day, and let God do everything else. My life is forever in Your hands, You know what to do, I’ll follow after You.